


You're A Survivor

by nursal1060



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Acceptance, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bat Brothers, Bat Family, Batcave, Batfamily Feels, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Comfort, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Secrets, Fear, Gen, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Medication, Nightmares, Nightwing 2 #93, Nightwing admits his past, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Recovery, Secrets, Self-Acceptance, Self-Hatred, Sexual Assault, Superheroes, Trauma, Truth, Visions, coming clean, family acceptance, hidden memories, superhero feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 20:58:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10839327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nursal1060/pseuds/nursal1060
Summary: After being assaulted by Tarantula years ago, the memory starts to haunt Nightwing. The trauma grows into panic attacks and visions of the past...but it takes a caring family to remind Nightwing that he can get through what has happened and move forward.(Contains heavy angst, but happy ending!)





	You're A Survivor

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This will include some things about male sexual assault/rape (if you haven't read the tags).  
> This is something that DID occur in the comics (in Nightwing Vol 2 #93), and was a topic that was handled insensitively. So I decided to write about it in efforts to handle it a little better. 
> 
> BEFORE YOU READ, this IS a fanfic about a serious topic, and male survivors are more common than you may think.  
> Please, DO NOT leave comments like "men don't get raped" or "he should have been glad", because that is DISGUSTING, RUDE, AND INSENSITIVE to people who are real life survivors, male, female, nb, and others. If you do think that way, don't leave a comment, or just don't read this.  
> Please be respectful, okay~? :)
> 
> This is also an artistic piece, and my take on how Nightwing's assault/rape could have felt to him and how it could have been handled, so please don't leave any comments about things involving story plots outside of what occurs in this story.
> 
> Thank you, and please enjoy your read!

Dick took a look to his rainy bedroom window. It spilled blue night light into his otherwise pitch-black room. He was seated on his bed, in his Nightwing outfit, not particularly focused on anything physical.  
He could still see “that”. After years of sucking it up and blocking it out, he was remembering it.

Blockbuster’s death. 

The feeling that his world was collapsing.

The panic attack.

Tarantula.

What she’d done to him.

Him begging her to stop.

He suddenly was thrust to the present again and he began breathing heavily and loudly, trying to get the reminder of what had happened that night out of his head. His heart started to ache and his chest closed up. Dick gripped the front of his costume and tried to inhale sharply to get some air into his body, but it felt like nothing was happening.  
With his opposite hand, Dick pulled off the mask, which was covering his eyes, and rubbed them. As he did, he could suddenly hear her voice.

“Everything’s all right baby, it’s all okay.”

Dick’s eyes shot open and he took a sharper intake of air. He felt like someone had kicked him in the chest with a metal boot. Dick grunted and tried to fight back tears. He couldn’t cry, men don’t cry...men don’t cry…he needed to calm down before someone heard him.  
Shaking, he got to his feet and wobbled into the bathroom. Water...water would help.  
He slowly turned the light on and ran the water before drinking a handful and wiping his face. Dick looked at himself in the mirror and was met with a vision of the past. Of Tarantula in his lap, looking right at him, and her words cut him like the sharpest katana:

“Quiet, mi amor callado.”

Dick took a step back before screaming and covering his ears to get the sound of her out of his head. No, he didn’t want that. He didn’t want that...he needed to forget. Her voice kept going, and every time she spoke, he begged for her to be quiet...to stop talking, but he kept hearing her.

“That’s good, that’s right...we’re free now….alive, querido...yes, you and me.”

Dick’s frightened screaming got more than one member of the Bat family’s attention. Damien, Tim, and Alfred were all en route to his room. Realizing it was locked, they were doing their best to unlock the door.  
Dick had since fallen to his knees and began to curl into a ball. He could feel her touch all over again. She was firmly controlling him. Dick flinched and shook his head, saying over and over that she wasn’t real, that this wasn’t happening.  
But it felt real. It felt so real. Dick was doing his best not to open his eyes, because he actually felt like if he did, she’d be there and the incident would happen all over again.  
Dick could hear the clank of his room’s lock open, and he opened his eyes slightly, feeling a sense of security. That’s when he could almost see Tarantula sitting before him, her legs open, saying one last thing to him as tears finally began to run from his eyes:

“Baby, it’s over...it’s all over.”

Dick screamed once again, closing his eyes and curling into a tighter ball for protection. He almost flinched when he could feel the hands of his love ones shaking him, even if he knew that it was them. He did his best to not open his eyes or uncover his ears until he felt someone removing his hands.  
Looking up, he could see his father, Bruce, his two younger brothers, and Alfred all looking at him. They looked like themselves for a moment before they seemed to change...and look like her again. Dick slapped his father’s hand away and begged her to stop again.  
Nothing made sense to him...why was she here? Why now? When would her torment on his life end?

Dick could hear through his hands clamped over his ears for his father to get him anti-psychotic medication to help calm his nerves. Psychotic…? Dick processed that with a grain of salt. He wasn’t….couldn’t be psychotic...he was something else.  
Then it hit him and he opened his eyes, looking straight at them.  
Traumatized. He was traumatized. And that trauma was hurting him.

Dick looked over slightly and saw Alfred handing him a small water cup and two beige-gray pills. Dick extended a hand to pick them up, and noticed how much he had been shaking. His trembling fingers could barely pick the pills up as they wrapped around them. His throat felt dry as he got them in between his lips and the water barely got them down his throat. It took a few minutes before the voices of the people around began more sense and Dick was responding a little more competently to them.

Bruce put his hand on Dick’s shoulder, “What happened?” Dick knew Tim and Damian were still here, and wondered silently whether they should know what he’d been through. He was their big brother, their invincible protector. Then again...hiding the truth forever from them wouldn’t help them...maybe he should be honest.  
Dick took a decent gulp of air and said, “I had a flashback...to Blockbuster…” His throat felt dry and his heart sank, but he had to let it out, “...and Tarantula...and what she did to me…”  
There was collective silence as Bruce asked, “And what did she do to you?”  
Dick felt the whole world weighing on him as he told them the truth, “Raped me…” The boys looked at each other, Alfred’s eyes widened, and Bruce’s expression changed to shocked, then to anger, then to something softer. Dick felt his mind wander, and thanks to the pills, it was at least bearable to think about things.  
Bruce took a deep breath and admitted, “You’re not alone. I’m also a survivor.” Dick felt a little shocked as the words settled into him. Not only was there no harsh judgement or questioning...but his father also understood his pain.  
Also...he had called Dick a survivor...not a victim. 

“You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” 

It took a moment before Tim sat besides him, followed by a frowning Damian. 

“You don’t have to be a superhuman, you have the right to feel things.”

Alfred handed Dick a tissue, and it took a moment before Dick realized he was crying. The weight of silence and fear had finally come off, and a wave emotion flooded him. He took it and tried to wipe his eyes, but the tears kept coming. After a moment, he put it down and hugged his two brothers, saying:  
“If...this ever...happens...to you...tell me...don’t...don’t pretend it didn’t...happen.” His voice was starting to sound like the big brother that the two recognized. He buried his face in their hair as made an effort to let his feelings out so he could start to heal.  
Dick knew recovery was a long way away...it would probably take weeks...maybe more years. But it was starting today. 

Today was the day he would stop living in the past, and it was the last day he’d blame myself. Today was the day he was going to take steps forward.


End file.
